Current mood:	content
Current music:	corridos y narcocorridos (v/a)

The Donutposse is IN!
Hi everybody. I've been away for a while, but I'm back now. Soon you'll be overloaded, inundated even with the freshest prosody, the most veritable versification, the most persnickety persiflage, ever. Yeah, & I only type one space after a period now, too. Get with the times, man. Two spaces is an antiquated practice, I was informed. OK, OK. I'm hip to the ever-changing vicissitudes of anal-retentive grammarianism.

OK, so I have a new job, a new love of my life, a car (no riding my bike shivering through this wet winter) and a new everything. Oh yeah, personal (non-web-based) writing is taking up some of my time too. Thanks to my Max Brod, I'm in touch with some folks & stuff again. Aside: If you need something written, I'm available. Want me to enliven your party or underground radio broadcast with my amazing presence or my booming voice reading the works of the ages (my ages, I mean)? Hit me up. & notice will be forthcoming on where you can hear or see my work, too. I promise.

But enough about me. How about the donuts? The chickens? The whatever else I feel like writing about? OK, you talked me into it. But only a little. I promise I'll be back tomorrow.

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On a budget x-mas shopping, part 1

OK. What's the perfect X-mas gift for the sullen teenager in your life? Or the thoughtful (or ironic even) choice for your amazingly urban, urbane, hip best pal of either sex? Why, a vegetarian starter kit of course. Better than a chia pet, this gift might lead to a lifetime of making others uncomfortable inviting you to dinner, or possibly even health benefits if pesticides turn out to be less harmful than the chemicals they pump into animals to make them grow larger and larger to accommodate our planet's ever-increasing demand for chicken mcnuggets and other delicacies.
Just go to Peta's The Secret Lives of Chickens website and click the link to place your order.

And, according to the website, Dr. Christine Nicol of the University of Bristol has this to say: "Chickens have shown us they can do things people didn't think they could do. There are hidden depths to chickens, definitely." Well duh. We all knew that already, didn't we kiddies? But it's nice to have it re-iterated. Just be careful you aren't wearing leather shoes or munching on a drumstick while you view the site, or PETA will hunt you down & force you to spend your summers spiking trees and dressing up as a barrel of toxic waste as punishment.

I've seen the documentary mentioned on the website, about chickens enjoying music. And I've witnessed it in the lives of my own chickens as well. And if you do order the vegetarian starter kit, you'll get to see a list of "celebrities who never eat animals." Worth the price of admission, it was here I found out that Shania Twain was not just another pretty face. Wowie! She has a social conscience.

Plus, you don't get hit up for a donation until about the third page, (depending on your browsing style of course). So surf without fear. And order one for your loved one today, if you're as broke as me & want to at least be able to say "I thought about you this x-mas." Who needs rampant materialism under the guise of celebrating the birth of the world's second largest religion's messiah anyway, right?

But if you're really into commercialism, I do have a solution. You can go to http://www.cafepress.com/donutposse to get the item that everyone will be wanting this season. Get it online so you don't have to trample some octogenarian at the mall in a mad scramble for the last one. More products to come. Give me your money & look cool at the same time. How could life get any better? You couldn't do better than to pick a few items up for yourself while you're there, to show you love me & all. More fun stuff will be available soon. And I take requests, if you have any reasonable ones.

Thanks. I mean it. I kid a lot, but you know I love you, right? Good. See you tomorrow, then.